Thoughts

Dealing with Unhealthy Judgement

Judging is to quickly form a bias and/or personal opinion about someone or something (urban dictionary). Judging is one of natural trait in our life as human being. It can be instictive and uncontrollable. It can give advantage or damage to us. What’s following them determines whether it’s good or bad for us. If it’s bad then it becomes a problem.

..it would be interesting to find out what goes on in that moment when someone looks at you and draws all sorts of conclusions.

Malcolm Gladwell

We judge people based on what we know, what we see, what standard we have, in a quite short time of observation. People judge others through small thing and big aspect–appearance, job, religion, habit, education, wealthy, and so-on. Our judgment will lead us to compare our standard to others’. It will form our way of thinking about ourselve and others’.

For example, we judge some people who have lower academic level than us. We think that they are lazy people thus they get what they deserve. We judge people who don’t use hijab that they are not as pious as people who use hijab. We judge people who wear hijab that they’re conservative or even terrorist? We judge poor people that they are kind of useless people who only give others bad influence to their environment. Some of us feel so much greater than others. Some others feel jealous and hold anger towards what others have.

Our judgement is commonly based on what we obsess the most. If we are not confidence with our appearance, we tend to judge people’s appearance. Yes. Not being grateful is one of many factors to give bad judgement. So, how do we deal with our judging?

Well, judging is inevitable habit. We can mantain our reaction of our unhealthy judgment. We have to think that no body is perfect, including ourselves. We have flaws thus we won’t see other people has lower level than us in some point. We need to ignore our bad judgement about others. Or we need to give a chance to correct our judgement by giving extra time for more observation. But oftentimes, we just need to love ourselves. Every person has their own business, struggling, success, sadness, mistakes, and etc. We don’t need to concern in their life. We need to concern in our own life. And one more important thing we need to know is the difference between unhealthy judging and factual judging. Religion has rules. Our nation has rules. Some places have their rules. It is similar to judgement by court. We know that some people do bad thing. But in personal, what follows our judgement determines our value of judgement.

Judging tends to drive us to comparison. It’s hard to control it. In real life, in some way, we have to compete to survive. Such as in business. We compare our business to other’s business to learn about better strategy. Nevertheless, we have to mark it that we don’t do this to beat other’s business. We do comparison to assess our ability to be better than ourselves now, of course in our capacity. That’s the different between healthy and unhealthy comparison and it depends on our intention. Unhealthy comparison will lead us to jealousy and forget us about what we suppose to focus on. Unhealthy comparison is when we feel upset when other people get more than us. And that’s a big problem for us.

We know it’s not easy. We meet people everyday. We have brain and we have gift to think. However, about judging? At least we try to start by loving ourselves.

Keep our healthy mind and soul!
Peace out! 🙂

References:

The Devil’s Obsession to Comparison

10 Reasons to Stop Judging People

What does it mean to judge someone?

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